YOUR ENERGY DRAIN:

LACK OF BOUNDARIES

what this means and how to reclaim your time + energy

Your biggest energy leak comes from saying yes –even if the “yes” will cost you. 

 

You’re the go-to for everything and everyone. Your default is to say yes, even when you’re running on empty.

You’re so used to being needed, you’ve forgotten how to honor your own needs.

But it's not all bad! Let's have a look at both your weaknesses and strengths!

STRENGTHS:

You are generous and empathetic – if you see a need for time, energy, or resources, your heart wants to meet that need.

 

You are naturally collaborative, and want to do everything you can to help others succeed.

 

Your caring side makes you approachable to your colleagues, friends, and community members.

WEAKNESSES:

Your sense of responsibility often overextends to obligations that aren’t actually yours to handle.

 

You worry about managing other people’s perceptions or feelings about you – and you let outside opinions matter more than your own feelings or preferences.

 

You can tilt toward resentment when your efforts and time go under-appreciated.

IN SUMMARY:

 You care deeply – but you need to step back and realize that it is not your responsibility to hold up the sky. In fact, all of your striving and saying, “Yes,” is leading to your burnout and deterioration in your relationships. 

 

The good news: You can bring your caring side into balance.

It just takes a little bit of practice. 

 

WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE TODAY:

Let go of one thing that doesn’t serve you. One obligation. One expectation. One thing you keep saying yes to that no longer aligns with the life you actually want. You do not have to do everything. You are allowed to release what is no longer meant for you.

 

This is not saying no for the sake of saying no – this is clearing the runway for saying “yes” to the things that really matter with joy and energy.

 

Pro tip: If find yourself saying “yes” to too many things because it’s difficult to turn down requests in real time, hit the pause button. Ask for time to check your calendar, consult with your spouse, or just take some extra time so you can assess the request and the bandwidth it will require without the pressure of answering right away. 

WISDOM FOR THE OVER-EXTENDED GIVER

 "Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do."

RACHEL WOLCHIN

 

"If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.”

CHERYL RICHARDSON

YOUR NEXT STEPS THIS MONTH: 

First, keep letting go of that one thing that doesn’t serve you – keep that thing off your calendar! As an added challenge, peel off one additional thing each week. You’ll be surprised how the time stacks up. 

Next: It’s time to list your “yes”es. 

I know, I know. You just learned that you need to say “no” more. 

But you are going to run out of steam to place (and hold) your boundaries if you aren’t very clear on why certain things are a “no.” 

So, we are going to start with your “yes”es. List where you do want to spend your time, money, and energy – and start to compare that list with your calendar at the beginning and end of each week.  Where are you saying “yes” to things that are not on your list of values?

WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE THIS YEAR:

Dig deeper into your values. 

 

As you explore what you want to say “yes” to, consider: Is this an expectation that someone else handed to you, or is it an investment that you value? 

 

If you need help getting clear on your values and figuring out how to build a life that centers your values, I’d love to serve you!

I have a couple of free resources for you below, along with ways you can participate in coaching with me.

RESOURCES

To help you on your journey to setting boundaries and creating a more spacious life:

🎧 Tune in to this podcast episode where I outline how I've implemented boundaries in my own business and life. 

📺 Watch this hour-long coaching session to dig into your values and get clear on which sectors of your life deserve your time. 

NEED HELP RECLAIMING YOUR LIFE FROM A BOUNDARY-LESS EXISTENCE? 

 

Hi, I'm Shay. I've built multiple businesses and generated millions in revenue over the last 19 years, all while maintaining a 16-hour work week that allows me to live unapologetically aligned with my personal values.

And I'm on a mission to help ambitious women like you build a life of sustainable impact, margin, and joy. 

HERE'S HOW I CAN SERVE YOU:

GROUP COACHING

Join an intimate group of fellow high-achievers for an eight week intensive to  gain the clarity to re-imagine the life you really want, and an actionable blueprint to help you get there.

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Dive into a community of fellow entrepreneurs and high achievers for week-to-week accountability, support, and teaching that will help you build a sustainable life personally and professionally.  

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